And I'm keeping up with my schoolwork. If you can call it that.
I cannot believe how little work I have had to do. You know what my homework for Economics of the European Union was over the weekend? Make a mental map of Europe. Aka play geography games on a website for 25 minutes and then email my teacher saying I know where Moldova is. I'm honestly starting to believe that I've been reenrolled in fifth grade. I'm playing color-in-the-map games on a website that has smiling animal icons next to each link, and the only adequate notebook I've been able to find has a picture of a neon green racing motorcycle on the front cover.
I mean it's all well and good that I have enough free time to burn through the first season of the Sopranos, every episode of Modern Family twice (because it's the funniest sitcom since Seinfeld), and succeed at finding working Megavideo links for Boardwalk Empire and Eastbound & Down (no easy feat), but I am royally fucked when I have to come back to Fordham and actually do work for a semester. But I live in the now.
And the now is not so bad. I think I've finally immersed myself into psuedo-Czech culture, because the thing I look most forward to each day is waking up and having a salami-laughing cow-red pepper strips sandwich on dry, toasted brown bread (the operative word being "toasted") for breakfast. I'm not sure if I would call that immersion or erosion of standards, but either way, that twice-weekly sandwich is the Folger's-in-my-cup.
What is not the Folger's-in-my-cup is the ass-stale, too-tangy coffee + constantly almost sour Czech milk combination that accompanies the sandwich. I'm no coffee snob -- I always go pre-ground store-brand and I think I washed my Crotona coffee pot twice this summer -- but this coffee is abysmal. I would not be surprised to find out it was brewed with dirt granules.
Such is life in the Czech Republic.
To supplement my lunch and dinner woes, I've started purchasing two-packs of smazeny syr, or fried cheese, which I heat up on the dorm-kitchen stove-top and stick between two pieces of the Czech equivalent of Wonder Bread, which of course tastes no where near as good as Wonder Bread.
In the taste department, at a net cost of about $3 (USD) for two of these delicacies, you just can't beat it.
But in the health department, my arteries are getting beat. Might only cost me $3, but after I eat a double order of smazeny syr, I feel like a double order of smazeny turd. You heard of the beef sweats? Here, I'm workin' with the cheese sweats. Two sandwiches down and I get an uncomfortable tingling sensation running up and down my extremities foreshadowing the heart attack I'll have at 28 if I keep eating two of these for dinner every night.
And the quart of Nesquick milk I drank last night certainly isn't helping anything.
After breakfast meats and an english speaking majority, I think I miss chocolate milk the most. And that's why I was so excited to find this on a bottom shelf of the Tesco instant coffee aisle.
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| My God is an Awesome God. |
So last night, in my chocolate-milk-like-substance-discovery-induced euphoria, I washed my two fried cheese sandwiches down with a full quart of Nesquick'd milk. Go ahead, crucify me.
When I've not been wasting away in front of Sidereel or iTunes, I've been booking my trips for the remainder of the semester. Here's what it's shapin' up to be:
Oct. 15-17 - Krakow, Poland with CIEE. I know we're going to Auschwitz, but I don't really know anything else. The beauty of these CIEE trips is that they plan everything for you, which, after this week's blitz of planning and comparing prices and doing tedious research I wish I had the money to pay someone else to do for me, I really appreciate.
Oct. 22-24 - The big birthday weekend. Father is visiting Prague, and I think (hope) we're renting out a small club near the dorms to celebrate. I also hope the NYPD makes an appearance and steals all my money.
Oct. 27-Nov. 1 - Rome and Chianti with Emily. Halloween in Rome? Need I say it? When in...
Nov. 5-7 - I play host.
Nov. 12-14 - Copenhagen. And Sensation mafuckin' White. Chuckie, Eric Prydz, Fedde Le Grand. And there's a rumor that the Swedish House Mafia will make an appearance. I fuckin' hope so. I can't begin to quantify my excitement with words so I'll just stop here.
Nov. 23-Nov.28 - The Homeland. 2 nights in Dublin -- one of which is Matthew's 21st -- 2 nights in Clifden visiting my Irish cousins, and one night in Galway. I cannot wait to go back to Ireland. It's the only place besides DC/NY that I've been where I genuinely feel at home. Even if I am getting charged 7e for a Guiness and the person charging me knows damn well that I am not from Ireland, I can talk in a phony Irish accent and dream, can't I?
What does NOT feel like home is the stick-way-up-my-ass known as Irish car rental companies. I'm currently in the process of comparing every little god damn detail and cent, and it's driving me crazy. First of all, I really regret not learning how to drive stick because every stick rental is about 100e cheaper than the automatic variety. Second of all, what the fuck is the difference between a 21-year-old American male who's never driven on the left side of the road and a 23-year-old American male who's never driven on the left side of the road? On the off-chance that I convince one of these rental companies to accept the already exhorbitant amount of money I have to give them, I'll have to give them more because I'm 2 years shy of their arbitrary rental requirements.
Taking a deep breath,
Marty
PS. Locate "2Nite" - Felguk feat. Sporty-O -- ba-jangin
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